The Girl Behind The Mask

In  1971 I graduated from high school with a plan.  That plan was to work as a secretary...or as they call it today...office assistant.  I took all kinds of clerical studies and would have loved to get a position at the McDonald's Headquarters in my town of Oakbrook Terrace.  It's a suburb of Chicago and Ray Kroc, the found of McDonald's,  had the head offices located there.  They even had a "Think Tank" in the building for employees to go in and meditate and perhaps think of something wonderful to help the company.  Anyway, I thought that would be a cool place to work. But to get in you needed experience and that was something I lacked.  As I was trying to find a job Mom came home from work at the hospital one day and said the operating room had a position for a nurses aide to help put surgical packs together, put up instrument sets, transport patients and other duties.  I had been a candy stripper and knew the hospital well.  I needed a job, at least for the summer, so I went in for an interview.  I don't  remember a lot about that interview but I do remember  Miss Graves asking me if I would be able to stand the sight of  blood.  I remember saying that as long as it wasn't my own I think I would be fine.  Little did I know as an 18 year old kid that I would spend the next 49 years of my life in an operating room.   I learned a lot in that summer and I went back to school and learned a lot more and then worked as a surgical technologist and have learned even more!  It was interesting, time consuming, stressful, fun, scary, and tiring!  It provided insurance for my family along with a paycheck.  But more than that it became a part of me.  A part of my identity.  I took pride in my work and in my dedication to making sure our patients were safe, that the Docs had the correct tools and equipment for the case and everything was sterile and well organized.  I worked many different shifts over the years.  Part-time, full-time, and a lot of over time! I was a wife and a mom with 4 boys to raise.  They didn't like that beeper when it would go off and I had to run.  I didn't like it when I had to miss some of their activities because of work.  Jack was always there to fill in when I wasn't there and for that I will always be grateful.  I know I complained tons over the years too!  Sorry babe!  I will never regret the decision to be a surgical tech (many folks refer to that as a "scrub nurse").  I have had the privilege of working with some fabulous nurses, doctors, technicians, and other healthcare workers.  It takes a team to raise that village!  So when, at age 67, I decided it was time to retire I really had to pray about it and make that leap with faith.  How would I leave my "identity" after so many years?  Today I took that leap.  I said farewell to my coworkers and my boss said that after 4 months I would be permitted...by law...to be able to return to work if I wanted.  I could come back PRN (that means if they needed me they could call and if I was available I could come in...all up to me with no call and no weekends).  She said I would be welcomed back.  We will see how it goes in the next 4 months I guess but for now I'm going to find out about the girl behind that mask.  It's funny that I will have to wear one when I go out now in public so it might take a little longer to redefine me!  If anyone ever watched the old TV show, M.A.S.H, you might remember the scene where Radar goes home and before he leaves he takes one last look through the operating room window.  All the activity is going on and he's not a part of it.  That's how I felt today as I left.  The difference was that the operating rooms were done for the day and all was quiet.  There's a pulse to the rooms even when empty.

Dark but always ready.

Lights, camera, action!

Magic happens behind these doors...miracles too.

Or perhaps a silly coworker making me laugh at my farewell lunch carry in yesterday!

Instruments ready to go.

All done!

Time to go.  Night all.