10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1......

Everyone knows the countdown...when zero hits it's the new year.  Out with the old. A chance to begin anew...new slate, new decisions, new resolutions (if you make them), new posts to journal the events in bloggers lives.  Contemplating what I would post for this very last one of 2015 I took a minute to look back at my year.  It's a learning time when looking back.  I learn what worked and what didn't.  I learned to appreciate the everyday.  I learned that I was stronger than I thought and also not as strong as I would like to be.  I got a new pair of knees this year. (technically, it was the end of 2014..but I digress!)  I learned how to navigate with them.  Walking became easier and I was able to do a few things that I had to put off because of arthritis.  I didn't work for the first 3 months of this year.  That was a big first for me. I hadn't taken that much time off since I had my last kiddo 31yrs ago! What I learned was that I actually liked not working!  It was a heads up that when I retire sometime in 3 or 4 years I won't be bored,  miss the day to day grind, and driving in the dead of night on call will be a thing of the past forever!  I've started to think about how I want to live in that future time.  Do I want to live at the Pines or perhaps move to a smaller place.  Of course it's not just my decision.  Jack has a say in all this too!  He's my steady rock and best friend  and love of my life.  So I will make 2016 a year of renewal.  I want to renew my health first and foremost.  I want to get in better shape...old age ain't for wimps or softies!  My job has always been a stressful place but I've learned so much there.  I work with strong, amazing women.  Technology has improved the way that we work in healthcare and it also makes us crazy at times!  But I'm toning it down there.  I don't want to be on any committees or be a clinician in any of the specialties.  I still want to mentor newbies and help teach where needed.  I just don't want all the extras anymore.  I feel I have nothing to prove. I will do the best job I can, but have started my mental countdown to retirement.  Does that sound like giving up?   I hope not!  I truly don't want to be that "working retired person" who's just taking up space in the workplace!  Surgery is too busy a spot for that!  My other focus will be our home.  We have projects that we need to finish and new ones to start.  Getting this place in tip top shape will help if the decision to move becomes a reality.  I've contemplated not blogging anymore.  It's been on my mind that my posts are getting repetitive.  I don't vary much in activities but I like to journal my family times and all the growth that happens there.  I started my blog in 2008.   My intention then was for family who lived far from us could keep up on what's happening here.  Facebook has taken the place of blogging for most of my family members and I even throw a few posts up on the site now and then.  What makes the decision not to blog difficult are all the great folks I've met in blogland!  I feel like I have some great friends here.  I would miss that!  So I would still visit even if I don't blog.  I also enjoy publishing my blog at the end of the year.  It's fun to see the books on the shelf and taking them down and looking at them with family from time to time.   So the jury is still out I guess!  I do know that this is my 75th post for 2015.....2016 is just a few hours away.  I don't know if I'll make it to midnight.  Jack and I already toasted this year out since I'm on call tonight and tomorrow and I already have a surgery scheduled for early in the morning.  The patient is 99 years old.  That's a lot of new year celebrations and I'm sorry this one...perhaps her last...will be spent in a hospital.  So no complaining here..just counting down....Happy New Year everyone!